The Maestro Review

In a sense, the Maestro is the first of its kind. It’s the first true suction cup dildo Marco has made; because even though the base of many toys was sticky, Uberrime’s toys did not have true suction cups. Another fun fact about this toy is: I was asked to name it! Yes, I was approached by Uberrime to name the Maestro, possibly because I’m such a loud mouth on Twitter. My choice of the Maestro was approved and later I was approached to review the toy itself. And I gotta say, I’m HONORED. But more than that, I’m delighted to have the Maestro in my vagina. It’s a toy that’s like a good historical fiction film: it has drama, subtlety, and a damned good suction cup. Well, okay, maybe films don’t have that last part. But we can all agree that they SHOULD.

The first thing that I want to mention about the Maestro is the silicone. Not only is it a beautiful color and finish, but the density! The density of the silicone is something that really sets this toy up for greatness in my opinion. Every time I hold the Maestro in my hand I’m struck by how MEATY this toy feels. Of all my current dildos, the Maestro is the one that feels the closest to a fully aroused penis in my opinion. Fully aroused cocks are hard; they might have a little give, but at 100% boner, they’re just not exactly very squishy. At shore 10, this silicone feels damned close to the feeling of a guy so aroused he could bend steel with his cock. Also, the dimensions of the Maestro are quite life like! At about 6.5 inches insertable and 1.67 inches in girth, it mimics an average penis dimensions nicely. Essentially, it feels just like a boner without committing too hard to looking realistic. For people looking for a nice firm fuck, this is where it’s at.

THE MAESTRO PRODUCT PHOTO
The Maestro Suction Cup dildo in all it’s blue and gold glory. Like a baroque painting in silicone.

When I first approached the Maestro, I’ll admit there was some trepidation regarding the prominent coronal ridges. In my previous review, the Element #2 also featured a pair of such ridges that caused discomfort, no matter my arousal level. So you’ll forgive me for approaching the dildo the same way a person tentatively approaches what may or may not be a king snake. By that I mean, I approached with caution, not that I was frantically trying to remember an extremely specific rhyme about snake coloration. But somehow, in spite of the fact that the Maestro is in fact more dramatic, I actually enjoy it. The popping feeling is minimal, and I love how the ridge pushes so insistently against my G spot.  When I thrust, it drags against my insides and the density gives my vagina something wonderful to clench around. Compared to another semi-realistic toy, such as The Vamp, the Maestro fairs far better in my vagina. Possibly because of the friendlier dimensions, but more likely because the design is more agreeable to my vagina.

Now how about that suction cup? Did Marco manage to pull it off? Well I’m delighted to announce: OH HELL YES. That is a suction cup that grips walls like a barnacle grips the outside of a ship. It clings with the same loving fidelity that a spandex suit clings to a superhero’s ass-crack. The Maestro was strong enough to be an auxiliary handle for my fridge and survived my furious slapping of the dildo. Yes, I slapped the dildo like a cat toy. What can I say? Sometimes you need a little stress relief and slapping a silicone dick is so satisfying that you do it between bouts of studying.

I’ve stuck the Maestro to my fridge, to my shower wall, to my head board and to my textured and painted wall. It’s stuck to all of them! The only things it hasn’t stuck to include: the cats, my partner’s forehead and my book bag. If the surface is smooth(ish) and flat, the Maestro will grip it like it like lover who never wants to let it go. The Maestro also gave me a new experience: my first hands-free dildo experience! I used the Maestro in conjunction with the Lust Arts Unicorn Horn and both suction cups were rock solid and gave me my first DP experience! It was a hot session, LET ME TELL YOU. While I was pretty tentative in my ride, I have no doubt that the suction cup would stand up to even more advanced users who were more active in their escapades.

So what else can I say about this dildo? I can tell you the Maestro comes in both one and two color pours, and all of them are beautiful. I can tell you it would be a delight to strap on with that length and prominent head. But mostly? I want to tell you to buy it. I want everyone to have the ability to bone down on their fridge or their shower or the wall of their cubicle. I want to see pornography centered around the Maestro. I want to see beautiful butch women pegging their partners with this cock and to see blowjob videos featuring this gorgeous piece of silicone. I love this toy and I wish to see it proliferate. It’s a RAVISHINGLY pleasurable toy, and everyone with a desire for penetration, hands-free or otherwise, deserves it.

Uberrime sent me this toy free of charge in exchange for my honest review. Thank you Uberrime!

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