Trials and Teratophilia : The StrangeBedFellas Tyv Review

I have been dragging my feet when it comes to writing this review. Bless their heart, Meesh of StrangeBedFellas have been so patient with me while I fussed with this toy. It’s taken months and they’ve been so gracious. So, at long last, I have finally decided my testing has to come to an end. It is time to render judgement on the StrangeBedFellas Tyv.

The Tyv is a dildo I love to look at. The design looks like it belongs on a hot monster hunk, and as a fellow teratophile, I would find myself drooling over it all the time. So, when StrangeBedFellas agreed to send me their Tyv in a Large, I was already looking for monsterboy pornography to pair my new beauty with. When it arrived, I was hopeful that this would be a match made in heaven.

But, my eyes were bigger than my vagina it seems. I spent weeks to no avail trying to get the Tyv inside me. For some reason, the shape of the Tyv resisted me, even in that deliciously soft and squishy density that I had asked for. To help you understand the frustration I felt trying to get the Tyv in, find a stress ball. Hold it in your hand. Now imagine trying to insert that spherical orb into one of your orifices. Trying to get the Tyv inside was like to thread a needle with a bratwurst, only the needle, the wurst and your hands are covered in lube.

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The Large Tyv, and the first model I was sent to review featuring a beautiful Hellhound inspired coloration.

On the few rare occasions that I achieved penetration with the Tyv, my insides…felt claustrophobic. Not only did the Tyv fill up every square inch and then some, the texture of the plating on the underside of the toy scratched at me uncomfortably. And when I tried to push the dildo in further to achieve the knot? It felt like it was going to tear my perineum! Upset with myself, I put the dildo down and worried about what I could do. I feared being unable to adequately test a dildo and thus render judgement.

Then, I had an idea. Going back to the StrangeBedFella’s etsy store, I picked out a smaller Tyv, in the Medium size to be precise. After carefully going over the dimensions again and comparing it to previous large dildos I’ve owned, I ordered it and awaited for my new, more manageably sized friend to arrive.

Though it seemed impossible, my new Tyv was even prettier than the one originally sent to me for review! The opalescent color is probably THE PRETTIEST coloration of silicone I’ve ever seen. It’s like a magical girl cock and I gotta say, it’s one of my favorites in terms of sheer aesthetic appeal. With renewed excitement, I grabbed the lube, a clit vibe and headed to the testing room with my new prize.

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My preferred Tyv in a STUNNING OPAL. Ahh Tyv. Maybe someday.

This time, I could more consistently get the Tyv inside me, which was already a huge improvement! My vagina no longer felt claustrophobic and I could get a better sense of how the design worked with my body. It’s just that…I didn’t enjoy the design. I hate to write anything negative at all about the Tyv, since the people behind the toy are so wonderful AND the toy itself is so gorgeous. But in either size, the Tyv ended up at best being mildly uncomfortable. The plate design elements felt too scrapey to me, like the vaginal equivalent of the chafing you get from wearing shoes that you haven’t broken in yet. It’s manageable, and yet, I can’t help but wish the toy were more comfortable. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t break in the Tyv.

With regards to the knot, it was more manageable, but I didn’t get the gloriously full feeling I’d been craving. It didn’t hurt, but it was somewhat uncomfortable to me. I felt like someone had shoved a cork in my vag. And when I pulled it out, I felt like a clogged drain being unplugged. Also, I’m not sure what’s up with my G-spot, but it didn’t agree with the shape of the Tyv. Maybe it’s due to the fact that the toy has a (relatively) small head and I enjoy broad stimulation over pinpoint when it comes to internal stimulation. That lack of G-spot stimulation might also be due to the squishy density, since a firmer Tyv might have a firmer curve, which would be better suited to G-spot stimulation. In all, while the Medium didn’t threaten to cleave my vag apart, it didn’t wow me I’m sorry to say.

The Tyv is a dildo that specifically doesn’t work with my body. It’s beautiful, and I know other reviewers who love it, so I believe that this is an issue that has to do with my anatomy RATHER than a poorly made toy. If you’re curious about the Tyv, I would absolutely recommend trying the small version of the Tyv and seeing if you enjoy that. If you do, it’s much easier to go up to a bigger size and to swap your smaller model. Even though this dildo didn’t work for me, I would still highly recommend StrangeBedFellas over all. Even though the Tyv didn’t work for me, the care they put into the dildo makes me excited to try more of their designs, especially the Fornax, which is a more tapered, but still knotted design that I think my vag would like better.

Not only is StrangeBedFellas making the world a better place by making beautiful dildos, but the people behind the toys are good people. Meesh has been patient and understanding, and the effort and care they put into making these silicone sweeties really shows through. Now, back to flipping through the StrangeBedfellas catalogue like Tindr for monsterfuckers.

This product was provided to me free of charge in exchange for my honest review. Thanks StrangeBedFellas

Double Dong Dare Ya! Uberrime Bella Dildo Review

Welcome to the year 2020. It feels so futuristic right? Maybe it’s the DnD nerd within me getting excited since two 20s means a spectacular confirmed critical hit, but I feel like this year is going to be something special. To kick off the year, I’ve also decided to push myself to make my first review spectacular. I would go through great trials and tests to bring you my first review of 2020, a review of a dildo that comes in both dual and, amazingly, triple density.

Uberrime is no stranger to these holes. I admit I’ve got a genuine soft spot for the company. Not only does Uberrime churn out extremely orgasmic designs, they also use more glitter than a Louisiana drag queen during Mardi Gras. I mean that extremely affectionately, as I am a slut for fun colors and glitter. Art hoe that I am, I’d still use all the Uberrime dildos if they were barfy pink, but I love that I don’t have to. It just feels better conceptually to pound myself with something blue and sparkly.

Thus, with this prefaced, you can understand why I let out a scream of delight when I saw that I was getting to review the Bella, Uberrime’s new dual density dildo. Well, I thought I was just reviewing the dual density, but Marco, the man behind the myth, surprised me. Not only am I reviewing the Bella in it’s dual density flavor, I’ve also got the privilege of reviewing the first triple density toy I’ve ever tried.

The Bella is a fairly basic looking dildo at a glance. It’s a little larger than the average, clocking in at 7+ inches in insertable length and almost 2 inches in diameter at the widest spot. But really, compared to the bizarre fantasy dildos I’ve seen, the Bella wouldn’t be all that impressive if I went by the shape alone. The prices however, would suggest something special, with the dual density clocking in at $99 and the triple density clocking in at $150. These are pricey toys, so if you’re short on cash but still craving something to fill your holes, try the cheaper Elements line from Uberrime to see what you like.

The Bella fares very well in a harness, the large base of the toy makes it very stable when slipped through an O ring. I wore it for hours, prancing around in my Talisman Leather harness as though I had a unicorn horn strapped to my crotch. I even mastered the performance art of the helicopter, and I delight in spinning my cock like a sexy hurricane.

In it’s dual density flavor, the Bella is very much like an erection. It has a nice layer of squish to it, but the firm inner core makes every thrust dramatic and intensely felt. That does mean that if you’re built a little smaller like myself though, and you try to just ram this rocket home, you’re probably going to cuss at this toy. Please don’t, the Bella is a dildo and it can’t understand you.

But, if you give yourself time to warm up and allow your hole to relax, the Bella fills you up oh so comfortably. The Bella isn’t really a G-spot homing device given it’s straight-as-an-arrow shape, but the size of it put’s enough pressure on my vaginal walls that I’m still pretty satisfied. I even got a little bit of cervix stimulation from time to time, which was a first for me. While I don’t know how this toy would work for A-spot stimulation (I’m not sure where mine is) I think that the Bella would be a good toy for exploring deeper stimulation spots.

This brings me to the triple density Bella and oh, how to even begin. The triple density has a soft layer of silicone on top, a gooey, melty secondary layer and a firm inner core. The triple density Bella is pinchable, unlike any other toy in my collection. The soft upper layers of the Bella slide around on the top, making it more skin-like than I’ve ever felt with a sex toy of any stripe. Once, I warmed the dildo in a bowl of water and then masturbated with it. Pair that warm, realistic dildo with an erotic romance novel and you’ll really feel like you’re getting plowed by the hunk in the pages. The softness does have a slight drawback though: it dulls the lovely skin-like texturing of the toy. I don’t doubt that some people will find this very irritating, and if you need texture to get off, I don’t recommend the triple density.

Who would I recommend this dildo to? Well, I have two groups in mind for this particular prick. The first group would be aspiring size queens, as it combines size with pretty reasonable comfort. The second group would be strap on tops who are looking to please an experienced strap on bottom. This dildo is luxurious and IT WILL spoil your strap-on bottom, provided they can handle the size.

As to where you can buy this dildo, you can buy it directly from Uberrime or SheVibe, depending on your fancy. Both are excellent places, and I’ll happily stand by that statement. If you’ve got the dough and a hankering for pinchably soft silicone cock, you should ABSOLUTELY go get a Bella for yourself.

This product was provided to me free of charge in exchange for my honest review. Thanks Uberrime!