Bloggers never die

They just go on hiatus.

Okay, it’s been a long time since I’ve surfaced here. COVID has been cruel, and you really don’t need me to tell you that. Between the biggest public health crisis of my generation, the sharp economic down turn and my own hectic personal life, sitting down to write has been second to floundering through my life and trying to make shit work out. However, I feel…maybe not refreshed, but ready to return to the scene. I thought I’d give y’all a little update as to what I’ve been up to since quarantine came around.

I had my first threesome! I met with a beautiful couple, watched horror movies them, and then made out. The makeouts led to sex and that led to an on and off relationship where we meet up, watch either horror flicks or Dragula and have sex. Once, I baked blueberry muffins for the couple after sex. It was pretty damn cool. The couple also introduced me to weed, which was very cool of them as well.

My nipples are now sporting barbells after I got them pierced in June. The piercing was memorably painful, but because I’d had the foresight to eat and drink beforehand, I didn’t even get woozy! The piercer called me a brave girl as well, which was nice. I wish I’d gotten a sticker of some kind, something that read ‘I was brave at the piercer!’, but alas I did not. I love my piercings so damn much I’m considering going back and getting my navel pierced.

Speaking of my body, I also did a nude photoshoot! I’d made a FetLife account, and from there, I was asked by a member if he could photograph me. After I went a sussed out that he wouldn’t turn me into a lampshade, we set a time and I showed up in my spooky Goth regalia and we took some pretty damn hot photos! And there might even be another shoot where I actually get photographed using toys, we’ll see!

I was also pegged for the first time thanks to quarantine! A gorgeous woman used my leather harness on me, and she wielded the Maverick with such force and grace that it still amazes me. My hole felt blessed, which is fitting considering the woman who pegged me is also a witch. Blessed be indeed!

The last thing of note that has happened during quarantine has been me finally getting to a therapist. I’ve known I’ve been mentally ill most of my life, but COVID finally slowed me down enough that I went and sought out a professional. It’s in early days for my therapy, but I’m optimistic. With luck, this should help me get to a better brain state!

These past few months have been tough, but I’ve managed to carve out small spots of brightness. Here’s hoping that you guys have too, you certainly deserve it.

2020: Goals and Reflections

Hey y’all. It’s coming up on the end of the year and I feel like I want to take a minute to reflect on it and maybe set some intentions for the coming year. Indulge me if you will, or wait until the new year to read some posts that are a little less reflective.

I’ve been feeling guilty that I haven’t been updating my blog and my reviews as much. My confidence in my ability to be a reviewer and a writer has been wavering, and my backlog has been getting me down. My affiliates have been so patient and I’m very grateful that they’ve given me space. In 2019, I started gaining more recognition, but I also secured my first full time job in a decidedly not sexy field. My financial and mental health situation has been getting better, but I haven’t been devoting as much time as I’d like to this blog. I want to refocus my energy and bring back life to this place that I love so passionately.

For starters, I’d like to publish my own erotic fiction on this blog, as well as some more exploration of kink. I want to write more personal pieces about my own sexuality and how I’ve noticed it developing. For instance, I’ve been noticing that my fantasies during masturbation often involve me inhabiting a more dominant role than usual, which is something I find super interesting. My fantasies have also been involving more monstrous looking lovers of late and that’s also something I’d love to talk about.

I fucking adore sex toys, so I’m definitely going to plow through my backlog and work on attaining more toys for review, as well as some kink implements. I believe I’ve mentioned previously that I received a mask from PenguinAfterDark for review, and I’m honestly thinking of writing that review as part of Bloodborne erotica.

Book reviews are also in order, as well as reading lists, monthly reviews and EVEN MORE community engagement. I love all the sex bloggers I’ve met and I want to collaborate with more of them. I’m thinking toy swaps, art collaborations, April Fool’s jokes, movie screenings and book clubs (I wanna join Kitten Boheme’s!) to start! I invite people to comment if they have more ideas.

2020 is full of potential and delight. I’m at a much better place now than I was at the beginning of 2019, and I think I’m at the right place to capitalize on my new stability. I’m going to punch my way through the end of this year and get started on making 2020 a good one.

20 Goals for 2020

  1. Have one post a week up
  2. Write a complete erotic story
  3. Use my own original art on this website
  4. Write every day
  5. Start my own original fiction
  6. Read everyday
  7. Join a book club
  8. Fill my Moleskine notebooks
  9. Complete my backlog of toys
  10. Schedule my social media
  11. Get an actually decent porn subscription
  12. Collaborate with other bloggers
  13. Own a glass dildo
  14. Get my very own leather jacket
  15. Create a Sex Blogger Pen (Pin) Pal Club?
  16. Get Spotify Premium
  17. Create an erotic aspiration list
  18. Start a sex spread sheet (masturbation sheet?)
  19. Attend another sex convention
  20. Love and promote my people in the sex toy community.

A big thank you to: Uberrime who has not only made wonderful toys and been a source of joy to review, but who also sponsored my trip to Sex Down South and to whom I will always owe a debt of gratitude, Lust Arts who first gave me a chance as a reviewer, StrangeBedFellas who creates beautiful toys and has been so patient with me, HodgePodgeEntourage for making the most stunning pours I’ve ever seen, PenguinAfterDark for being wonderful, hilarious people and…you, my readers. Thanks everyone, let’s melt this New Year’s face!!

Turkey Day Catch Up! October and November

Hey guys, I know it’s been a while. I want you to know that I’m not dead! And that as the year winds down, I should be posting more often since I’ll get some free time around the holidays. I’ve been up to a lot, but I’ll try to summarize as best I can.

  • I went to Sex Down South in September. I’ve got a whole post sitting in my drafts about it and I swear I’ll finish it!
  • I’ve got the Kip, the digIt and a fun glowy dildo to review coming up! I am extremely excited to write about all these products.
  • I’ve also got both Bellas from Uberrime, as well as a piece of VixSkin to compare them to. Now if only I could get my paws on the triple density VixSkin toy to compare…but here’s a sneak preview: GET THE BELLA!
  • It’s almost Black Friday and there are a FUCK TON of sales! I recommend SheVibeand Peepshow Toys if you’re looking to stock up on the cheap. Personally, I’ll be getting the WeVibe Tango and the Pillow Talk Sassy from Peepshow this year, I’m curious to see how they stack up!
  • I have a leather mask to review from PenguinAfterDarkthat I just ADORE! I’m honestly thinking of doing a photoshoot in it so I can really explain how it makes me feel. It also gives me MAJOR Persona 5 vibes. Maybe that would be a fun way to market it…
  • As far as kinks go, I’ve been exploring hypnosis recently and I’m really curious to see how that would go. I’m less interested in being hypnotized and more interested in hypnotizing someone into losing their inhibitions and ravishing me though.
  • I’ve started some new reading! Rosemary’s Baby, The Complete Works of H.P. Lovecraft, and the Ultimate Guide to Kink to name a few! Man I have a lot of books to read.
  • I’ve also been working away on my NaNoWriMo project! I don’t think I’ll win this year, but I’m gonna do my best!

Thanks everyone for your patience. Also, expect a piece later today about my own Black Friday deals that I’ve got cookin’! You want wanna miss it.

Love y’all, have a good Turkey Day!

June + July Wrap Up: Empty Bed Blues

This post has been a long time coming, so I appreciate everyone waiting for me! I’ve been dealing with bouts of depression and burn out, so finally getting this post out feels like a big weight off me! Now I’ll get my reviews in after this…

Partnered Life

My partnered life has been kind of non-existent lately. Why’s that you may ask? Well, my boyfriend is out of the country, and that’s had the both of us feeling lonely. While the boyfriend and I make sure to have a phone call everyday, I miss waking up next to him in bed.

The good news is that of time of writing this piece, my boyfriend will be home in just a few days! We’ve got lots planned for our reunion, and I plan on it being smashing.

Health and Wellness

Like my partnered life, my health and wellness have sort of been taking a back seat as I deal with loneliness and with getting used to my new job! However! All hope is not lost, as I’ve started making a few changes for the better. I’ve started hiking the trails near my apartment and I’ve generally increased my water in take to help me sleep better at night.

As of time of writing, my meditation practice and daily writing goals have fallen off. So, my new goal is to not beat myself up over this, but to allow myself to ease back into these practices. Here’s hoping that I can get back into it!

Turn Ons and Toys

Due to my partner’s aforementioned absence, toys have figured more prominently than ever in my solo sex life. More specifically, The Strange Bedfellas Tyv, the Uberrime Bella, and the Spirito have been my bedside companions for the past month and a half. I’m a big fan of the girth that the Tyv rocks, and the Bella is just…bellissima. Absolutely perfect in terms of softness and comfort for when I don’t want a wank that’s overwhelming. Using the Bella is like the dildo equivalent of a gentle, capable masseuse working out all the knots in your anxious, tight shoulders. Except in this case it’s my vagina.

With regards to my fantasy life, I’ve been big into the bimbo/braindrain fetish. Something about being a brainless slut happily slurping cocks has been really appealing. Maybe it’s the inability to feel anxiety? Maybe it’s the freedom of reclaiming sexist tropes? Or maybe I just really want to suck some dick. Its anyone’s guess.

Misc

Visiting home and buying new wine glasses. Trying on new perfumes. Seeing a heron snatch a fish out of the water. Petting dogs at the office. Ordering new enamel pins. Buying discounted dildos. Drinking grapefruit San Pellegrino mixed with white wine. Writing a post again. Saying ‘I love you’. Getting a Moleskine notebook as a souvenir. Texting good friends. Making plans to attend a conference.

Liz’s Summer Reading List

I miss summer reading. I know it’s a weird thing to say, most people hated reading for a grade. But I was always a teacher’s pet and I loved getting the book read. Now, I didn’t necessarily love the assignments that came along with the book, but I did enjoy poring over the volumes themselves. I’m now fully a year out of college and what am I doing with my downtime? I’m assigning myself some summer reading to edify myself. Oh hell yeah.

After a trip to the local Barnes and Noble, I’ve picked up quite the selection of books that I want to conquer this summer. If anyone wants to read along with me or is simply interested in what I’m doing in my downtime besides jerking off and writing, here’s what I’m reading:

Do I Make Myself Clear?

I am always looking for books to sharpen my writing skills. And I believe that I have. I’m paring my down my adverbs and honing my vocabulary to a keen edge so that I can write in a clear and evocative voice.

Girls & Sex

I grabbed this book not really knowing what it would be about, but picked up because it has to do with sex right? Yeah, okay that’s not the best reason to get a book but hey, it’s not a bad reason. After doing a little research, it looks like the author is examining today’s sexual landscape and the generational gap. Huh, this could be really fun to examine!

Dead Girls

I’m a fan of horror and I’m a feminist, so to find something that pings both of those interests is worth picking up. Dead Girls examines the pop culture trope of the murdered girl. The use of the murdered girl as a trope to bolster the stories of men is one that I’m excited to learn more about.

Pleasure Activism

I don’t believe I read enough work by women of color, so Pleasure Activism seems like an excellent place to get started. Pleasure Activism is a book written by a black woman about how we can use the erotic to empower ourselves and use it for social justice purposes. I’ve found the language a bit slippery for myself, but I’m going to keep trying and I’m sure I’ll eventually get through it. Wish me luck!

The Submissive

Listen, this is really just…smut. But listen, I have a very good reason for assigning myself smut! I know that 50 Shades Of Grey is trash, but this seems to be much in the same vein as 50 Shades, and I wonder if it’s better written. So I may end up having to get 50 Shades Of Gray to compare the two. Although, maybe they’re both trash. Anyway, got to get back to my VERY important summer reading!

Middlemarch

The last book on this list is a much vaunted classic, Middlemarch. In spite of hearing about it, I picked it up not really knowing what to expect. This is my densest read and it’s one I’ll need the most support to get through if I want to make it 100% of the way through my summer reading list. If I whine about this book on Twitter, please slap my wrist and tell me to slog on!

Gosh I can’t wait to actually sit down and get my reading done. What do you think of my list? What’s on your own summer reading list? Let me know in the comments!

Growth and Development: Reading, Writing and Meditating

I’ve meditated upon my craft quite a bit lately. Recently I’ve been on a reading kick and its been exhilarating. I’ve purchased The Elements of Style, The Artists’ Way and Bird By Bird, all excellent writing manuals. I’ve also got 10 Percent Happier on my Audible account and new earbuds to listen to it with; and while I find the work a little bit more memoir than helpful, its been enjoyable to listen to nonetheless. Per the recommendation of The Artist’s Way, I made a commitment to doing morning pages and meditating, trying to get myself back into the swing of writing. I find that after I do my morning pages that I feel a little unburdened, and that words pour out more simply. Maybe they aren’t good words and they require some polishing, but I feel delighted nonetheless that they flow outwards.

I’ve also finished reading Come As You Are and Becoming Cliterate, both interesting books on sex. I found Come As You Are to be powerfully illuminating and I believe it merits another, deeper read. I’m hoping to secure more sexual literature in general though, so that I can turn my writing skills and fascination with sex into a synthesized whole. To write beautifully and clearly about the sexual cycle, how we go from arousal to desire would be amazing. I’ve seriously thought about creating a sexuality and writing group course in the hopes of fostering more community engagement with sex writers. Making a list of required reading, constructing PowerPoints, and holding academic discussion about sex online is an exciting thought, and I know with my experience of coaching fencing that I enjoy teaching.

One of my issues recently has been my inability to stick with a project. I find it difficult to stay interested in any one thing for very long, a function of my ADD mind. A million ideas flood through my brain on the daily: holding sex community events, creating sexual literacy classes, creating a podcast on sex, life and horror and more. It can be a lot to manage all my ideas and I’m still looking for compatible software to sort ideas into actionable ones. Saving them all in a Word document feels clumsy to me and isn’t aesthetically pleasing. Let me know in the comments what organising software you use to keep track of ideas! But further more, scheduling and sticking to a schedule is going to be the next thing on my list.

But first and foremost, this is going to be the week where I publish a post everyday. Maybe it will be more navel gazing in the sense that this is me fiddling about with my writing style and giving you a peek into the disordered, chaotic, joyful and agonized brain by turns. With luck though, I’ll make some excellent posts and grow a little bit more as a writer.