2020: Goals and Reflections

Hey y’all. It’s coming up on the end of the year and I feel like I want to take a minute to reflect on it and maybe set some intentions for the coming year. Indulge me if you will, or wait until the new year to read some posts that are a little less reflective.

I’ve been feeling guilty that I haven’t been updating my blog and my reviews as much. My confidence in my ability to be a reviewer and a writer has been wavering, and my backlog has been getting me down. My affiliates have been so patient and I’m very grateful that they’ve given me space. In 2019, I started gaining more recognition, but I also secured my first full time job in a decidedly not sexy field. My financial and mental health situation has been getting better, but I haven’t been devoting as much time as I’d like to this blog. I want to refocus my energy and bring back life to this place that I love so passionately.

For starters, I’d like to publish my own erotic fiction on this blog, as well as some more exploration of kink. I want to write more personal pieces about my own sexuality and how I’ve noticed it developing. For instance, I’ve been noticing that my fantasies during masturbation often involve me inhabiting a more dominant role than usual, which is something I find super interesting. My fantasies have also been involving more monstrous looking lovers of late and that’s also something I’d love to talk about.

I fucking adore sex toys, so I’m definitely going to plow through my backlog and work on attaining more toys for review, as well as some kink implements. I believe I’ve mentioned previously that I received a mask from PenguinAfterDark for review, and I’m honestly thinking of writing that review as part of Bloodborne erotica.

Book reviews are also in order, as well as reading lists, monthly reviews and EVEN MORE community engagement. I love all the sex bloggers I’ve met and I want to collaborate with more of them. I’m thinking toy swaps, art collaborations, April Fool’s jokes, movie screenings and book clubs (I wanna join Kitten Boheme’s!) to start! I invite people to comment if they have more ideas.

2020 is full of potential and delight. I’m at a much better place now than I was at the beginning of 2019, and I think I’m at the right place to capitalize on my new stability. I’m going to punch my way through the end of this year and get started on making 2020 a good one.

20 Goals for 2020

  1. Have one post a week up
  2. Write a complete erotic story
  3. Use my own original art on this website
  4. Write every day
  5. Start my own original fiction
  6. Read everyday
  7. Join a book club
  8. Fill my Moleskine notebooks
  9. Complete my backlog of toys
  10. Schedule my social media
  11. Get an actually decent porn subscription
  12. Collaborate with other bloggers
  13. Own a glass dildo
  14. Get my very own leather jacket
  15. Create a Sex Blogger Pen (Pin) Pal Club?
  16. Get Spotify Premium
  17. Create an erotic aspiration list
  18. Start a sex spread sheet (masturbation sheet?)
  19. Attend another sex convention
  20. Love and promote my people in the sex toy community.

A big thank you to: Uberrime who has not only made wonderful toys and been a source of joy to review, but who also sponsored my trip to Sex Down South and to whom I will always owe a debt of gratitude, Lust Arts who first gave me a chance as a reviewer, StrangeBedFellas who creates beautiful toys and has been so patient with me, HodgePodgeEntourage for making the most stunning pours I’ve ever seen, PenguinAfterDark for being wonderful, hilarious people and…you, my readers. Thanks everyone, let’s melt this New Year’s face!!

Turkey Day Catch Up! October and November

Hey guys, I know it’s been a while. I want you to know that I’m not dead! And that as the year winds down, I should be posting more often since I’ll get some free time around the holidays. I’ve been up to a lot, but I’ll try to summarize as best I can.

  • I went to Sex Down South in September. I’ve got a whole post sitting in my drafts about it and I swear I’ll finish it!
  • I’ve got the Kip, the digIt and a fun glowy dildo to review coming up! I am extremely excited to write about all these products.
  • I’ve also got both Bellas from Uberrime, as well as a piece of VixSkin to compare them to. Now if only I could get my paws on the triple density VixSkin toy to compare…but here’s a sneak preview: GET THE BELLA!
  • It’s almost Black Friday and there are a FUCK TON of sales! I recommend SheVibeand Peepshow Toys if you’re looking to stock up on the cheap. Personally, I’ll be getting the WeVibe Tango and the Pillow Talk Sassy from Peepshow this year, I’m curious to see how they stack up!
  • I have a leather mask to review from PenguinAfterDarkthat I just ADORE! I’m honestly thinking of doing a photoshoot in it so I can really explain how it makes me feel. It also gives me MAJOR Persona 5 vibes. Maybe that would be a fun way to market it…
  • As far as kinks go, I’ve been exploring hypnosis recently and I’m really curious to see how that would go. I’m less interested in being hypnotized and more interested in hypnotizing someone into losing their inhibitions and ravishing me though.
  • I’ve started some new reading! Rosemary’s Baby, The Complete Works of H.P. Lovecraft, and the Ultimate Guide to Kink to name a few! Man I have a lot of books to read.
  • I’ve also been working away on my NaNoWriMo project! I don’t think I’ll win this year, but I’m gonna do my best!

Thanks everyone for your patience. Also, expect a piece later today about my own Black Friday deals that I’ve got cookin’! You want wanna miss it.

Love y’all, have a good Turkey Day!

22 Achievements From 22 Years

Hey y’all! My birthday was just a few days ago and I’ve turned 23! I’ve been pretty productive as a 22 year old, and here’s what I’ve managed to accomplish.

  1. Graduated from university
  2. Moved in with my boyfriend
  3. Got a new job
  4. Started a sex blog
  5. Found my iconic fashion piece
  6. Fisted myself
  7. Finished ‘Come As You Are’
  8. Making friends in the blogger community
  9. Joined my first affiliate programs
  10. Bought my first collar and paddle
  11. Got on anti-depressants
  12. Wrote for thirty days straight
  13. Purchased my own boardgames
  14. Coached an adult fencing class
  15. Achieved double penetration with dildos
  16. Drank the strongest coffee in the world
  17. Wrote my first line of Python
  18. Appeared as a guest on a podcast
  19. Ran two successful Twitter giveaways 
  20. Reached over 2000 views on my blog in 2018
  21. Started the Monthly Fixation with the Trysexuals and earned badges
  22. Became a reviewer for SheVibe

I’ve accomplished quite a bit for someone my age, and I’m hoping I can accomplish more now! Here’s to Liz!

March Wrap Up: Cafés and Crazy Karate TV Shows

Whew! This is a little bit late, but here’s what I was up to in March!

Partnered Life

The boyfriend and I are in the process of moving! We’re going to be moving in together and finding a place has been exhausting. We’ve seen at least six apartments and we’re also looking at townhouses, so it’s a long journey.

I’ve also introduced my boyfriend to a goofy show called ‘Into The Badlands‘. There’s some influence from old karate movies, so the fight scenes are ridiculous. My boyfriend has to start drinking before he can enjoy the show and he can only watch ten minutes at a time. I like it a good bit more since I find it funny and uplifting despite the over the top fight scenes. It’s nice to have a bit of escapism. Breaking Bad is the other show we watch, but we mostly refer to it as ‘Depression’. Ex: ‘What do you want to watch tonight hun?’ ‘How about some depression?’ ‘Excellent.

In addition to Betrayal, the Rocket Science couple has acquired a new board game: Settlers of Catan and its respective expansions. Many is the night where we’ve bickered over the trading and cussed at each other for getting cut off in our territorial expansion.

The Rocket Science couple has also developed a fierce and abiding love of dumplings. We’ve been frying up huge batches of them when we want something quick. Our favorites are the pork and chives fillings. Also, I often grab a box of mochi for our dessert!

Health and Wellness

Since I’ve been coaching more often, I’ve noticed my fitness improving! However, my sleep schedule of late has been down the drain. Going to bed past midnight most every night has left me lethargic and with little appetite for sex or masturbation until well in the afternoon! And the shortening of my days has me cranky.

I’ve been doing fairly well on my new prescription of anti-depressants, though I have noticed a slight lowering of libido. With my ultra ADHD brain though, it’s been difficult to take it consistently. Here’s hoping I can rectify that!

Soliciting any sleep tips from my wonderful blog squad!

Turn Ons and Toys

The Exposed Nocturnal is a perennial favorite. I used it this month during sex with my boyfriend and it was amazing. Apparently he could feel the vibrations while he fucked me, which was awesome! I’m hoping to get a wand vibrator to put it in the mix. I’ve been lusting after the new Doxys so I’m hoping I might get tapped to review them! That or I suppose I’ll save up and purchase that DREAMY red #3.

I’ve been fantasizing a lot lately about being a demon torturing a sinner, and it’s found its way onto my Twitter in the forms of horny musings. I wish I could be a demon tormenting a sinner! I’d make my sinner do cardio, cracking them across the ass with the crop if they weren’t running fast enough. This probably came about from me reading the Love in Hell manga. Although, I also want to be the sinner being tortured by the demon! I ended up writing out a torture scenario in my daily writings…maybe I’ll post it sometime?

In addition to this, I’ve also fantasized about being a mean girl domme. I want to be the cheerleader captain bullying one of the other girls in school in a sexy way. I even thought of a way to use croquet mallets and dildos in a scene reminiscent of the classic Heathers film. Heather Chandler is an icon forever and always and while I don’t often wish I were her, I sometimes want to inhabit her role now and again.

Miscellaneous 

Reading ‘Sex Outside the Lines’ and penning snarky tweets about it. Discovering a new café to write in. Re-visiting an old anime roleplay website for research. Playing Catan until late at night. Getting compliments on my jacket. Talking to sex toy makers that I adore. Forming friendships with other bloggers. Listening to A Song of Ice and Fire on my way to a job interview. Drinking almond flavored coffee with my boyfriend. Holding a ferret. Finding a new matte pink lipstick. Laughing so hard I cry. Eating too much butter cake. Making plans to go to sex conferences.

Growth and Development: Reading, Writing and Meditating

I’ve meditated upon my craft quite a bit lately. Recently I’ve been on a reading kick and its been exhilarating. I’ve purchased The Elements of Style, The Artists’ Way and Bird By Bird, all excellent writing manuals. I’ve also got 10 Percent Happier on my Audible account and new earbuds to listen to it with; and while I find the work a little bit more memoir than helpful, its been enjoyable to listen to nonetheless. Per the recommendation of The Artist’s Way, I made a commitment to doing morning pages and meditating, trying to get myself back into the swing of writing. I find that after I do my morning pages that I feel a little unburdened, and that words pour out more simply. Maybe they aren’t good words and they require some polishing, but I feel delighted nonetheless that they flow outwards.

I’ve also finished reading Come As You Are and Becoming Cliterate, both interesting books on sex. I found Come As You Are to be powerfully illuminating and I believe it merits another, deeper read. I’m hoping to secure more sexual literature in general though, so that I can turn my writing skills and fascination with sex into a synthesized whole. To write beautifully and clearly about the sexual cycle, how we go from arousal to desire would be amazing. I’ve seriously thought about creating a sexuality and writing group course in the hopes of fostering more community engagement with sex writers. Making a list of required reading, constructing PowerPoints, and holding academic discussion about sex online is an exciting thought, and I know with my experience of coaching fencing that I enjoy teaching.

One of my issues recently has been my inability to stick with a project. I find it difficult to stay interested in any one thing for very long, a function of my ADD mind. A million ideas flood through my brain on the daily: holding sex community events, creating sexual literacy classes, creating a podcast on sex, life and horror and more. It can be a lot to manage all my ideas and I’m still looking for compatible software to sort ideas into actionable ones. Saving them all in a Word document feels clumsy to me and isn’t aesthetically pleasing. Let me know in the comments what organising software you use to keep track of ideas! But further more, scheduling and sticking to a schedule is going to be the next thing on my list.

But first and foremost, this is going to be the week where I publish a post everyday. Maybe it will be more navel gazing in the sense that this is me fiddling about with my writing style and giving you a peek into the disordered, chaotic, joyful and agonized brain by turns. With luck though, I’ll make some excellent posts and grow a little bit more as a writer.