August Wrap Up: Ballin’ on a Budget

Partnered Life

My partner is home and we’re back to our regular sexual program! We’ve been adoring having one another back in the bed together.

Another thing that we’re delighting in is our coffee drinking lives. The partner and I have inherited a frankly astonishing espresso machine that is making our caffeinated lives blissful.

My partner and I also went to DragonCon! We didn’t stay long, just passed through but it was a delightful experience. I got a few souvenirs in the form of T-shirts with a gothic vibe.

Health and Wellness

I’ve felt in better spirits this month thanks to the return of my partner. I’ve started sleeping more regularly and feel fit to continue my work writing! With my depression eased, expect to see more posts around here!

I plan on writing consistently, as well as getting to bed earlier.

Turn ons and Toys

This month  I’ve managed to procure some truly astonishing toys at bargain prices! I’ve worked my deals and used black magic to find the Vixen Johnny in Single Density, The Jopen Comet Key Wand, and the Magic Wand Rechargeable all at different price points but all significantly below their normal purchase price. The highest I paid was $79, and that was for the Magic Wand Rechargeable

I’m also making September the Month of Magic! I’ll be reviewing all my fantasy toys. They are:

Turn ons this month have tended towards the voyeuristic and the exhibitionist. Sometimes I fantasize about walking in on someone masturbating and watching them go at it while I rub one out secretly. But often I fantasize about someone catching me masturbating and finding the sight so incredibly arousing that they can’t help but jerk off.

bratphomet casual

I’ve also been fantasizing so much about my demon fantasy (that I’ve mentioned previously) that I’ve commissioned a character to act out that fantasy! You’ve seen her on my Twitter and I’m formally introducing her now on my blog. Her name is Bellephagor, and she’s a Baphomet. Standing at 5’0″, she’s short but imposing. She’s also the Head of the Torture Department in Hell. Rumor has it that she’s known to sexually torment a lucky few sinners~. This makes me want to write a post about sexual exploration through art and living vicariously through characters. Do you think this would be a good idea? Let me know in the comments!

Misc.

Going to attend Sex Down South. Commissioning art of my new character, Bellephagor. Reading a series of witchy thriller novels. Starting up my daily writing. Drinking an Americano in bed. Watering my pet basil plant, Jeffrey. Switching between the Zumio and the Magic Wand Rechargeable whenever I fancy it. Buying toys on r/usedsextoys. Buying cute enamel pins. Going to a business party with my partner’s coworkers. Drinking honey beer. Watching the Dark Crystal and the Netflix Series it spawned. Marathoning the Rocky Movies.

June + July Wrap Up: Empty Bed Blues

This post has been a long time coming, so I appreciate everyone waiting for me! I’ve been dealing with bouts of depression and burn out, so finally getting this post out feels like a big weight off me! Now I’ll get my reviews in after this…

Partnered Life

My partnered life has been kind of non-existent lately. Why’s that you may ask? Well, my boyfriend is out of the country, and that’s had the both of us feeling lonely. While the boyfriend and I make sure to have a phone call everyday, I miss waking up next to him in bed.

The good news is that of time of writing this piece, my boyfriend will be home in just a few days! We’ve got lots planned for our reunion, and I plan on it being smashing.

Health and Wellness

Like my partnered life, my health and wellness have sort of been taking a back seat as I deal with loneliness and with getting used to my new job! However! All hope is not lost, as I’ve started making a few changes for the better. I’ve started hiking the trails near my apartment and I’ve generally increased my water in take to help me sleep better at night.

As of time of writing, my meditation practice and daily writing goals have fallen off. So, my new goal is to not beat myself up over this, but to allow myself to ease back into these practices. Here’s hoping that I can get back into it!

Turn Ons and Toys

Due to my partner’s aforementioned absence, toys have figured more prominently than ever in my solo sex life. More specifically, The Strange Bedfellas Tyv, the Uberrime Bella, and the Spirito have been my bedside companions for the past month and a half. I’m a big fan of the girth that the Tyv rocks, and the Bella is just…bellissima. Absolutely perfect in terms of softness and comfort for when I don’t want a wank that’s overwhelming. Using the Bella is like the dildo equivalent of a gentle, capable masseuse working out all the knots in your anxious, tight shoulders. Except in this case it’s my vagina.

With regards to my fantasy life, I’ve been big into the bimbo/braindrain fetish. Something about being a brainless slut happily slurping cocks has been really appealing. Maybe it’s the inability to feel anxiety? Maybe it’s the freedom of reclaiming sexist tropes? Or maybe I just really want to suck some dick. Its anyone’s guess.

Misc

Visiting home and buying new wine glasses. Trying on new perfumes. Seeing a heron snatch a fish out of the water. Petting dogs at the office. Ordering new enamel pins. Buying discounted dildos. Drinking grapefruit San Pellegrino mixed with white wine. Writing a post again. Saying ‘I love you’. Getting a Moleskine notebook as a souvenir. Texting good friends. Making plans to attend a conference.

Liz’s Summer Reading List

I miss summer reading. I know it’s a weird thing to say, most people hated reading for a grade. But I was always a teacher’s pet and I loved getting the book read. Now, I didn’t necessarily love the assignments that came along with the book, but I did enjoy poring over the volumes themselves. I’m now fully a year out of college and what am I doing with my downtime? I’m assigning myself some summer reading to edify myself. Oh hell yeah.

After a trip to the local Barnes and Noble, I’ve picked up quite the selection of books that I want to conquer this summer. If anyone wants to read along with me or is simply interested in what I’m doing in my downtime besides jerking off and writing, here’s what I’m reading:

Do I Make Myself Clear?

I am always looking for books to sharpen my writing skills. And I believe that I have. I’m paring my down my adverbs and honing my vocabulary to a keen edge so that I can write in a clear and evocative voice.

Girls & Sex

I grabbed this book not really knowing what it would be about, but picked up because it has to do with sex right? Yeah, okay that’s not the best reason to get a book but hey, it’s not a bad reason. After doing a little research, it looks like the author is examining today’s sexual landscape and the generational gap. Huh, this could be really fun to examine!

Dead Girls

I’m a fan of horror and I’m a feminist, so to find something that pings both of those interests is worth picking up. Dead Girls examines the pop culture trope of the murdered girl. The use of the murdered girl as a trope to bolster the stories of men is one that I’m excited to learn more about.

Pleasure Activism

I don’t believe I read enough work by women of color, so Pleasure Activism seems like an excellent place to get started. Pleasure Activism is a book written by a black woman about how we can use the erotic to empower ourselves and use it for social justice purposes. I’ve found the language a bit slippery for myself, but I’m going to keep trying and I’m sure I’ll eventually get through it. Wish me luck!

The Submissive

Listen, this is really just…smut. But listen, I have a very good reason for assigning myself smut! I know that 50 Shades Of Grey is trash, but this seems to be much in the same vein as 50 Shades, and I wonder if it’s better written. So I may end up having to get 50 Shades Of Gray to compare the two. Although, maybe they’re both trash. Anyway, got to get back to my VERY important summer reading!

Middlemarch

The last book on this list is a much vaunted classic, Middlemarch. In spite of hearing about it, I picked it up not really knowing what to expect. This is my densest read and it’s one I’ll need the most support to get through if I want to make it 100% of the way through my summer reading list. If I whine about this book on Twitter, please slap my wrist and tell me to slog on!

Gosh I can’t wait to actually sit down and get my reading done. What do you think of my list? What’s on your own summer reading list? Let me know in the comments!

May Wrap Up: Health, Heat and Home

Partnered Life

The 27th of this month marked one month of my boyfriend and I living together! We’ve finally gotten rid of all of our boxes and the place looks quite livable now. I’m in love with how bright this place is. We’ve made meals and had champagne here, so it’s truly become our place.

My boyfriend and I also had a vacation this month! We went to the Outer Banks and enjoyed some surf and sun. It was tons of fun, and I’ve collected many shells and sunburns from our trip. I highly recommend going there if you ever get the chance.

In addition to our beach trip, my boyfriend and I have also been out and about visiting my parents and my aunt. My aunt lives far out in the sticks, so we got to have a taste of country living. Donkeys brayed louder than I’d imagined they could; I held baby chickens who were cottony soft balls that scampered and peeped and I dangled my feet in an icy cold pool. I also had an exquisite Italian Cream Cake baked for my birthday. Simply glorious!

Health and Wellness

Well, this month was kind of tough on my health. I know it feels like I say that most every month, but this month has gifted me something new: a birthday scar! I have a little notch right between my eyes from firing a gun much larger than my petite size could handle. The kick back got me between the eyes and frightened my boyfriend. With luck my little scar will fill in, but if not, I’ll console myself by saying that it gives my face character.

The other major thing that happened this month, at least in the health department was dealing with my mother’s severe health crises. In the week after my birthday, my mother was in and out of the hospital and I flew back to make sure that she was alright and to be there for her. We don’t know why this happened to her; my mother has perfect health. But with medicine and a cautious recovery plan, it looks like my family and I can expect to see her recover.

Turn Ons and Toys

Well, when I wasn’t dealing with vacations or health crises, I did get a little horny. Here’s whats been on my mind and in my various orifices…

This month I’ve been a little erotically curious; I’ve been dipping my toes into more medical themed fetishes and anal play. I’m not always turned on by hot doctors giving me an exam, but something about May had me excited about getting finger fucked by a latex clad professional. I asked about this on Twitter and was welcomed by my people. So are rubber gloves a fetish unto themselves or merely a subdivision of the latex fetish. That might be something to examine in a later post…

I’ve made no secret of my desire to acquire knotted dildos, and XenoCat Artifacts has stepped up! I’ve gotten my hands on a GORGEOUS specimen called the Barghest. Given the pastel pinks and purples, I like to imagine this dildo is modeled off a pastel goth were-hyena girl who will knot me and dominate me. She’d be soft where I want her and hard where I need her and I realize I’m sounding more like a furry every minute.

The other toys I’ve been absolutely enamored of are the Zumio, which I got from Kitten (she’s amazing and HILARIOUS) and the Sensi from Uberrime which I reviewed here. One provides the most focused clitoral stimulation I’ve ever had, and the other provides effortless pussy-plugging pleasure. I’ll reviewing the Zumio soon enough, along with a few other adorable orange toys, but if you haven’t read my Sensi review, I’ll sum it up: IF YOU HAVE A VAG, BUY IT!

Miscellaneous

Getting farm fresh eggs. Washing a new and extremely soft blanket. Talking about book ideas with the boyfriend. Getting back to writing consistently. Getting books on sex and books on writing. Drinking my favorite San Pellegrino flavor. Making waffles with my boyfriend. Collecting seashells. Searching pet stores for ferrets. Returning books to the library. Slapping dildos suctioned to the wall. Complimenting my friend’s new look. Getting ready to start my new job. Becoming obsessed with the smell of lavender. Having slow, leisurely sex. Getting sandwiches from my new favorite café. Getting a coffee table. Sleeping with my boyfriend every night.

22 Achievements From 22 Years

Hey y’all! My birthday was just a few days ago and I’ve turned 23! I’ve been pretty productive as a 22 year old, and here’s what I’ve managed to accomplish.

  1. Graduated from university
  2. Moved in with my boyfriend
  3. Got a new job
  4. Started a sex blog
  5. Found my iconic fashion piece
  6. Fisted myself
  7. Finished ‘Come As You Are’
  8. Making friends in the blogger community
  9. Joined my first affiliate programs
  10. Bought my first collar and paddle
  11. Got on anti-depressants
  12. Wrote for thirty days straight
  13. Purchased my own boardgames
  14. Coached an adult fencing class
  15. Achieved double penetration with dildos
  16. Drank the strongest coffee in the world
  17. Wrote my first line of Python
  18. Appeared as a guest on a podcast
  19. Ran two successful Twitter giveaways 
  20. Reached over 2000 views on my blog in 2018
  21. Started the Monthly Fixation with the Trysexuals and earned badges
  22. Became a reviewer for SheVibe

I’ve accomplished quite a bit for someone my age, and I’m hoping I can accomplish more now! Here’s to Liz!

Sex by the Seaside

Note to literal minded readers: This is a joke and I hope it makes you laugh!

So you’re at the beach with your s/o and the two (or more) of you are feeling randy. You remember the jokes about sand in your crotch, so you wisely avoid having sex on the actual dunes. But then you start to wonder…what are my options for actual sex at the beach?

Well, I’m delighted you asked! I had a great deal of seaside sex this past weekend and I’m just burning to tell you all about it!

SEX BY THE SEASIDE
Ah the sea. Picturesque and the perfect place to get sand in your crotch.

1. Sunburn Sex

Ah sunburn sex. Perhaps the next most iconic type of sex at the beach aside from the sandy sex. You get back from a perfect day at the beach and you get ready to get down and dirty with your significant other when you realize something horrible. You’re both the exact same shade as freshly boiled lobsters. But don’t despair! There’s workarounds that’ll make this happen!

The first part is slathering the both of you in aloe to stop the burning. Be sure to lay down a towel so your sheets don’t smell like aloe or get stained! It’s like period sex, but with more unbearable skin burning!

Part two is all about delicate angling so that the two of you don’t touch each other’s burns. You might need to be creative depending on where your burns are, so some flexibility is required! Or if you’re a kinky sort, you can bring your burns into impact play for a new level of intensity! Bonus points if you peel each other’s sunburn as a form of aftercare.

And the final part of sunburn sex is setting a glacially slow, consistent pace. This is so you don’t accidentally jolt your partner and upset their skin! Spontaneity is out for sunburn sex, while awkward twister positions, borderline gratuitous aloe and meticulous planning with accompanying diagrams is in.

2. Cramped Shower Sex

The clever among us will realize that having sex in the shower while at the beach is absolutely the move! Cool water soothing burns, sand and sunscreen residue coming away, this sounds just perfect right?

Of course it does! All you have to do is wedge two bodies into your cramped shower at your rental place and then have at it. You might be kicking yourself for not bringing only water-based lube or struggling to position yourselves, but at least it’s better than gritty sand sex!

This kind of sexual experience isn’t exclusive to the beach, but the beach does put a bit of a spin on it. Some things you won’t get anywhere else such as: Noticing the ring of sand hanging around the drain, wondering if the brackish taste in your mouth is shower water or leftovers from the ocean and if your partner is noticing it when you kiss them, and keeping your caresses carefully off sunburns!

And now for our last, extra special version of beach sex:

3. Gritty Sheets Sex

For those of us who want an authentic, if somewhat milder beach sex experience, gritty sheets sex is for you. Achieving this is simple: if you exist at your beach rental and don’t remove every microscopic granule of sand, then it gets in your sheets! All you have to do is be a human who existed at the beach and then later has sex and you’ll experience that classic mild but not extreme discomfort of individual sand particles scraping against your back.

Now remember, this is just a taste of the myriad of seaside sexual opportunities! So much more is in store for you such as ‘Jellyfish Sting Sex’ and ‘Disappointing Beach Bro Sex’ and more beyond that! But now that you’ve got a taste of it, go forth and fuck!

Digital Filth: The Beginning

(An edit has been made in clarification with regards to a comment)

I was born in ’96, back when the internet was still getting its legs under it. Mostly, the internet was for Neopets, online Disney games, The Sherwood MMORPG, and a writing site that I can sadly no longer remember but where I first attempted writing a novel about dragons. As I grew older though, my body began to change…and so did my search history. I began with the most tentative of searches: the word sex typed into the Yahoo! search bar. I would look up definitions and masturbate to that, eyes feverishly running over fairly clinical descriptions of PiV. I would type ‘porn’ into the search bar and jerk off to the descriptions of porn videos, too afraid that my parents would find out if I dared to click the link.

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Thanks to the Way Back Machine, you can get an authentic feel of what teen Liz felt.

Later, becoming more adventurous, I actually dared click on some links to these searches. Little did I know that I was fated to discover that which western white men so love: hentai. I discovered a world of shiny-eyed heroines scream-moaning as a censored penis penetrated them, with gratuitous internal shots and depictions of semen spurting violently when the male lead ejaculated. Sometimes, if the heroine was a virgin, there would be a scene of blood streaming down her legs to show her innocence breaking. These first few scenes would begin my non-con fetish which persisted until my 20s, after which, the visceral distress became a squick rather than a turn-on. When I hit my 20’s, I realized I’d been getting off to some fucked up things because my upbringing had never given me a framework wherein a woman was allowed to enjoy sex without being ‘dirty’ except when she unwillingly enjoyed it. Once I realized this I quit cold turkey in favor of  openly consensual pornography. When I did have this fetish though, I would seek out pornography wherein there was degradation, non-consensual sex, and distress on the part of the heroine. I distinctly remember reading and re-reading the same Naruto fan fiction on DeviantArt because of it’s graphic depiction of sex. The female lead had her consent violated over and over again, but would eventually give in to the pleasure of being violated and orgasm. Teenage Liz found this depiction of sex extremely compelling, and it was only fear of being caught that prevented her from adding this first fic to her spank bank.

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You’re not allowed to critique my basic-ass Naruto ship

Having outgrown DeviantArt, Liz then moved to Tumblr, back in the day when it was still legal to be horny there. For years, Tumblr was where I got my more unusual porn. With just a few taps of the keyboard, I could view almost any kind of erotica. I jerked off to amateur videos of guys cumming in fleshlights, I read erotica with themes of sissification, and I hungrily read the porn comics featuring attractive monster boys. In essence, I became an erotic omnivore. I developed a taste for some more niche fetishes, and had passing dalliances with types of pornography that no longer turn me on. For example, I used to be very turned on by pregnancy porn, wherein the sexual recipient gets pregnant as a result of sex or otherwise insemination. But the pregnancy kink so often coincided with incest that I’ve not jerked off to it for sometime now. Incest is probably one of my primary squicks what with being from the south and having that disgust ingrained in me thanks to my parents.

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The art is by user @quailtea. I couldn’t find a way back for this, but this was one of my main sites for monster boy porn.

This brief vignette of my sexual development all serves to explain this: that thanks to the internet, sex and sexuality have evolved. For more than a month now, I attempted to synthesize a piece connecting sexting, erotic roleplay, Gaian kink culture, sexting chatrooms and erotic fan fiction to no avail. All of these elements were vital to my sexual development, but they would not stick together as a cohesive piece. So instead dear readers, I present to you my newest series: Digital Filth. This series will be a rambling dive into the corners of online sex and erotica with a wide range of subjects. It’s an exciting ride and I hope you join me as we explore!